How to Help Kids Balance Excitement and Calm
How to Help Kids Balance Excitement and Calm
Excitement is one of childhood’s purest joys — birthdays, playdates, new toys, or big events can send a child’s energy soaring. But when excitement tips into chaos, meltdowns, or wild behavior, kids need gentle guidance to learn how to steady themselves again.
Helping children balance excitement and calm isn’t about dampening joy. It’s about teaching emotional rhythm — the ability to move between high energy and rest with confidence and control.
Why Kids Struggle With Big Feelings of Excitement
Young children live fully in the moment. Their developing brains don’t yet know how to regulate the flood of energy that excitement brings.
When something thrilling happens, adrenaline rises, and focus fades. What feels like “too much excitement” is actually an opportunity to teach emotional pacing — a key concept in The Science of Emotional Regulation in Children.
Normalize Both Excitement and Calm
Let kids know that both high and low energy feelings are normal and healthy. Say:
“It’s okay to feel really excited — our bodies just need to learn how to slow down again afterward.”
This message mirrors lessons from Helping Kids Identify Their Emotional Triggers, which emphasizes noticing feelings before they take over.
Use Body Awareness to Teach Emotional Balance
Encourage kids to notice how their bodies feel during excitement:
“What’s your heart doing? Are your hands wiggly? Is your voice loud?”
This helps them connect sensations to emotions and understand when their energy is getting “too big.”
Create a “Calm Down After Fun” Routine
After stimulating activities — parties, games, or playground time — build a small ritual to transition back to calm.
Examples:
Quiet snack time
Reading together
Slow breathing with a puppet (see Teaching Calm Breathing Through Puppet Play)
The key is consistency. Over time, the body learns to anticipate calm after excitement.
Practice Playful Breathing for Excitement Recovery
Breathing doesn’t have to feel serious. Try:
Rocket Breaths: “Take off slow, land soft.”
Bubble Breaths: “Blow gently so the bubble doesn’t pop.”
Animal Breaths: “Roar like a lion, then sigh like a sleepy cat.”
Playful breathing keeps it light and accessible for early learners.
Model How You Manage Excitement
Children learn through imitation. Say:
“I feel really happy and bouncy right now! I’m going to take three big breaths so I can think clearly.”
Modeling turns self-regulation into something visible — and doable.
Balance Stimulating and Calming Activities in the Day
Alternate high-energy fun (like dancing or outdoor play) with slower moments (like drawing or reading).
This rhythm teaches that calm isn’t punishment — it’s part of the joy cycle. It echoes routines discussed in The Connection Between Routine and Emotional Security.
Use Visual Cues to Represent Energy Levels
Make a simple “Energy Meter” with zones like:
Red = Too high
Green = Just right
Blue = Too low
When a child gets overexcited, point to the chart and ask:
“What color do you think your body’s in right now?”
Visual tools give children a sense of control and help them self-monitor.
Prepare Kids for Exciting Events Ahead of Time
Talk through what will happen and how they can stay calm during transitions. Say:
“At the party, we’ll play games and have cake. If it gets loud, we can take a short break together.”
Predictability reduces overstimulation — similar to the strategies in How to Build Emotional Safety During Transitions.
Reframe Calm as Power, Not Boring
Children sometimes resist calm because they think it means “quiet equals no fun.” Reframe it:
“Calm helps your body recharge so you can have more fun later.”
Use analogies — superheroes resting between missions or racecars stopping for fuel — to make calm feel strong and purposeful.
Excitement and calm are two halves of emotional growth. When children learn to move between them, they gain confidence, control, and resilience. With your help — through routines, modeling, and playful practice — they’ll discover that calm doesn’t mean less joy; it simply means they can enjoy life’s best moments without feeling overwhelmed.
Popular Parenting Articles
Social-emotional learning tools to help kids express feelings: